Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to have a vacation from life. You know what I mean... some time where you can truly sit back, relax and not think about all the millions of things that you should be doing instead of sitting on your behind doing nothing. Vic tells me all the time that I need to learn how to relax. My goodness, it takes me 3 days of vacation to actually let myself relax and be on vacation. But who can relax when there is so much going on around me? And most of it is sad! Perhaps it's not that I need a vacation from life... more than I just need something happy and uplifting to happen. Something to be excited about. Boy, this sounds depressing...

Strange how life is...

I've decided that only nice people get cancer. I can think of so many people, my mother included, who don't deserve having to fight for their life. I was at the hospital visiting a friend whose loved one is battling this horrible disease and as I was going up the elevator on my way to the oncology floor, it stopped on the mother/baby unit. It was so amazing to me how as I watched these happy, excited people get off the elevator, on their way to meet their new niece, I was about to give my friend a hug because she is about to lose her husband to cancer. So much life and death happening all around us and we are just simply there for the ride.

When someone close to you get cancer, I truly believe that you start to look at life differently. You live more for the moment and the small things really don't matter anymore. Since mom got cancer, I have found myself being more "whatever" about things that I used to be so concerned and anxious about. I don't know whether or not that is a good thing, but I know that it's what I need to do right now. Being a better person and being the best daughter, sister, wife and friend that I can be seems more important right now.